Bits and Pieces

The Unsung Heroes of CNY

2012-01-21T16:36:00.000+08:00

I woke up groaning, rubbing the sand out of my eyes. It was 5 in the morning, and I had agreed to go to the market with my mum. I slowly trudged down the stairs in zombie-mode, walked to the passenger seat, and sat slumped while my mum busied around with the important stuff.

We reached the Eng Ann market about 5.45 and headed towards the fishball stall. I stood there as I watched my mum chose boxes after packets after buckets of fishballs, fishcakes, meatballs, flying saucers, the like. We finished choosing after barely about 10 minutes.

And not a moment too soon.

In the blink of an eye, hundreds of aunties and uncles crowded the market. The very stall I was at which was just empty was suddenly thronged with many people grabbing for what they needed.

This was war I tell you. An army of angry aunties and uncles (well, mostly aunties. i included uncles to not sound sexist) out to get what they want they wanted; vegetables, noodles, pork, chicken, which they needed all for their CNY family meals and nothing, nothing was going to stop them from obtaining it.

Credit where credit is due and respect where it is earned. This was the unseen battle behind the annual CNY Reunion dinner for each Chinese family. We normally just tend to arrive at the respective locations to have dinner, fellowship and fun but we forget to consider what might've have taken place for the dinner to actually happen in the first place. At least, for me I didn't.

To be honest, I was not really in a festive mood for Chinese New Year prior to this. Especially when I've been so involved in so many other things and have not been involved in the hype leading up to Chinese New Year. However, this morning serves as an experience as well as something to be able to help me appreciate CNY even more this time around. Right now, I'm excited as any other Chinese to be able to celebrate the turn over of the new year; lunar style. :)

Happy Chinese New Year everybody.

And trust me, you would NOT want to be tussling over the last piece of chicken with any of the ladies in the market I've seen this morning.

At the Cross

2012-01-21T02:16:00.000+08:00

Today in cell we talked about the crucifixion of our Lord and Saviour Jesus Christ and we were asked to discuss about which part of the crucifixion touched you most.

CF screened The Passion of Christ which was directed by Mel Gibson last year for its Easter Program. The movie depicted how physically abused Jesus was; whipped, having his skin torn off, having to carry the cross all the way to Calvary, and being crucified on the cross. How a person dies on the cross is a slow and painful death, which I will not go into detail here. Basically, Jesus died not by bleeding to death, but by slowly suffocating as he grew weaker and weaker until he couldn't support the weight of his own body.

We even discussed how emotionally humiliating it must have been for Jesus as He died, slowly and painfully, as He was watched by many other people. How His very own creations, mankind, turn against their Creator and submitted Him to such a painful ordeal. How must it have felt for Him?

Physically and emotionally, Jesus bore it to its extremity for us. Yet, when we were sharing all this, the note that Sarah shared came to mind. Its on Facebook and can be found rigggght here.

"Eloi, Eloi, lama sabachthani?"

In the note mentioned, it shows how God planned it out with Jesus, and had an agreement for Jesus to take on every sin that every man has committed; and Jesus is judged there and then, as He slowly dies on the cross.

"My God, My God, why hast Thou forsaken Me?"

In that moment, in that one moment, when Jesus took up all the sins of the world upon His shoulders, God the Father turned His back towards Him. God forsook Jesus, and allowed Him to die.

For God so loved the world that He gave His only begotten Son, that whoever believes in Him should not perish but have everlasting life.

I choked up as I shared about this, for in all my failures, all my sufferings, all my endless rants, all my tantrums, all which I've thrown unto God, God has never, not once, forsaken me. All thanks to Jesus.

In everything that I've been through, as I thought, think, for one second, what were to happen if God chose to turn His back toward me. I cannot imagine it, cannot fully fathom it.

The meaning behind Jesus bearing it all for us, He bore the back of God, the wrath of God. Jesus did it. As K.P. Westmoreland would continuously say, for you and me.

For. You. And. Me.

Imagine that huh.

*I intended this to be a short post. :\

Talisman

2012-01-12T15:38:00.000+08:00

"Harry felt as though he were carrying some kind of talisman inside his chest over the following weeks, a glowing secret that supported him through Umbridge's classes and even made it possible for him to smile blandly as he looked into her horrible bulging eyes."

Oh gosh. I miss you la Harry. I miss JK Rowling's writing style.

Pride and Confidence

2012-01-11T15:52:00.001+08:00

Where do you draw the line?

My Everyday

2012-01-09T16:01:00.001+08:00

It was getting late. I could feel it in my bones, a chill shivering down my spine. I lengthened my stride, willing myself to walk quicker.

I proceeded underground with as much grace as I could muster, walking as quickly as I can. A monstrously overweight woman steps in my way, blocking my path. I tapped my feet impatiently. Patience, patience, I told myself.

As she stepped out of my way, I maneuvered forward even faster, eager to make up for lost time. I reached the turnstile and slammed my card onto the sensor. An annoying beep sounded from the stupid machine.

"Kad tidak sah.", it read.

Silently cursing, I moved over to the next machine and swiped my card there. Thankfully, this time it registered and I proceeded to the stairs. Halfway down the stairs, I heard the warning sound of the doors being closed. I ran down the stairs, skipping the last few steps. I landed and leapt forward the final few metres. As the doors closed I managed to squeeze in at the last possible second, my right shoulder hitting the right door in the process.

I landed in the middle of a group of people staring, my knees slightly bent to absorb the impact. I straightened up, just as the train started moving, and allowed myself a small smile. The people around me smiled despite of themselves as well.

Ah, sweet victory.

Its disgustingly funny when

2012-01-09T07:39:00.001+08:00

you want to do your business at 7am in the office toilet and someone else is in the cubicle beside you.

Both wait for the other to leave, so that they can do their businesses in peace.

Nature calls and both can't wait anymore.

The sounds of both your bowels disengaging fill the toilet.

Both are done, and wait for the other to leave so that they don't meet each other face to face. (Can you imagine how epically awkward that would be?)

As one prepares to leave, the other breathes a quiet sigh of relief.

Both resume their daily office practises without looking back. Until now.

Now that.. seriously grosses me out. Not funny when it happens to you.

I... see what you did there.

2012-01-08T15:42:00.004+08:00

It was my first time doing this.

I was completely at a loss at what to do. I honestly have not done this before. I let common sense prevail, and my instincts took over, guiding my hand.

I slowly drew my hand across her body, gently yet firmly, covering inch by inch. I was nervous, wondering whether I was doing it right, but seeing that there were no complaints, I carried on.

Drip, drip, drip. I had to constantly wipe the sweat off my brow and worked, focused on the task at hand. Mundane things are the epitome of life, I thought.

I finished working on her whole body, and proceeded to cleaning and washing her, before finally wiping her down, top to bottom.

Embarrassingly, that was the first time I washed my car, though hopefully not the last. City boy has to start carrying his own weight yo. Now everything is just so sparkly clean. :)

Resolve

2012-01-06T09:13:00.000+08:00

New Year's Resolutions for this year include:-

Not taking the lift in Monash. Staircase all the way.

Helping my mum out more
- not letting her drive whenever I go somewhere with her
- help make the tea and pour the tea when eating bkt
- helping out with house work more

75kgs by the end of the year! (Oh boy..)

Anything else I forget I'll just add later.

The Dreaded Friend zone

2012-01-05T14:21:00.018+08:00

There have been plenty of posts, especially on 9gag about being trapped in the friendzone lately. And it really got me thinking.

Friend zone, by definition from Wikipedia:

"The friend zone, or occasionally friendship zone, is a dating term describing a relation in which one partner wants to become intimate romantically while the other prefers to be just friends. It is generally regarded as a negative development, particularly for a man."

Honestly, I don't intend to ever be 'trapped' in the friend zone. Not in the will-definitely-end-up-with-together-with-whoever-I-like way, but more of the fact that I never plan to treat any girl especially better just because I like her or with the intentions of catching her attention.

I had a conversation with Carmen the other day, and it was a good reminder, of what my standards were and how I'm living up to them. The conversation goes something like this; copied and pasted from Google chat.

Carmen: nyeheh

how are YOU in that department

09:48 me: i need and want to keep reminding myself

that

09:49 girls are to be treated and see as, most importantly, my sisters in Christ

and i don't want to bother much about it anymore than that

hahaha

seen*

09:52 Carmen: amen

i should be reminded that of my brothers too

09:54 me: haha

dunno la

i mean

i'm sure of my stand

but i need to be reminded

esp when i start seeing girls as 'potentials'

u know

so like

i know it sounds so derogatory a term

09:55 but its the best way to describe it i guess

when you start noticing ppl and talking more to that person

that's when its most dangerous la

need to be reminded most then

09:57 or even spending time with a person

10:06 Carmen: NO NO

i know eaxclty how you feel

sighs!

10:07 me: hahaha

what you mean by the 'no no'

10:12 Carmen: like no no dont feel bad that you think it might be deragorotry (so bad spelling) cause i know wht you mean

10:17 me: hahaha

and also

sometimes i tend to want to do things that will impress ppl

when like

you sit down and think baou tit

its actually

there's no point

hahaha

you have nothing to impress

and no reason to impress

10:20 Carmen: awww

heart swell with pride

my boy grow up already

10:22 me: sigh

no la

thing is

i always cakap je pandai

but like

hard to implement one

have to keep remembering

10:23 pride has a tough hide

lol

I put this up as a reminder, an honest open statement on my stand and how I'm dealing with it, and also for accountability's sake; that if any of you were to read it and see me acting otherwise, to chastise me from running away from what I'm supposed to be doing.

I guess this post is also to warn girls off as well. Try as you might, you'll never friend zone me!! I extend my hand wholly and sincerely as a genuine friend and brother, with no other strings attached.

And that, my friends, is my foolproof plan to avoid THE FRIEND ZONE (evil voice).

Brain Dead

2012-01-03T09:07:00.000+08:00

I feel like writing something witty. My creativity is slowly being eroded the longer I sit here doing nuthink.

At the Right Places

2012-01-03T09:00:00.000+08:00

I was late at the LRT station today, and missed the train by seconds. As I stood there, I looked off to the left, where I could see the lights of another train, silently willing it to hurry up so that I could board the train and catch a few winks. I was still pretty drained from the trip to Melaka.

The lights weren't getting nearer and I was getting quite frustrated. Then I heard (a bit too late) a train coming from the right instead. I realised that I was looking at the wrong direction.

Plenty of times I end up looking at the wrong place for the 'train' to arrive. An open-minded approach should very much be more.. commendable, indeed.

A Tribute

2011-12-30T09:54:00.007+08:00

I've been an avid follower of the Alex Rider series for years. The series is about a fourteen year old teenage spy working for the MI6. It's not on par with the likes of Harry Potter or Percy Jackson, but its a pretty good read. The final book, Scorpia Rising, was released this year

The villain this time in the book had interesting.. experiments. Abdul-Aziz Al-Rahim, known as Razim, was studying the issue of pain, with the aim to come up with a measurable unit of pain, naming it after himself, by torturing all kinds of members of society, with a teenager being the top of his wish list.

In the final quarter of the book, he does get his wish as he manages to capture Alex Rider. Strapping him onto a chair, Razim tells Alex about all the sorts of pain that he has caused his other subjects. This time, however, Razim chose to subject Alex to emotional pain, as he makes Alex watch his best friend (who, incidentally, was caught by Razim as well) attempt to escape, not knowing that it was all orchestrated by Razim. She prepares to drive off in a Land Rover, not knowing that there was 30kg of plastic explosives attached to it.

Alex watched his best friend die, and the grief was too much to bear causing him to black out. Razim noted that the readings from the pain Alex was experiencing was beyond anything that he had ever recorded before.

Emotional pain at the loss of a loved one is immeasurable and is not something that anyone can ever get used to. No one deserves so great a pain, yet only through God we are able to look forward and see the light in the darkness.

My thoughts go out to Saturday, and all those who are feeling the impact of her loss. I may have known her only for a brief period, but I've come to love the little rabbit for being so smart, playful and yet so temperament. However, my loss cannot be compared to those who have known her for years, who have watched her grow, who have enjoyed her companionship for so long.

Rest in peace Saturday. You will always be remembered.

Strangers Like Me

2011-12-29T21:15:00.002+08:00

I struck up a conversation with a mum and her two and a half year old boy today. Adorable kid, really bright. Probably gonna be a real looker when he's older.

I think about the many people that board the train daily. The faces I see probably only ever once, or if ever again I most likely will not remember. These are all beautiful people, wonderful creations of Yours, each person unique to their own characteristics and personalities, their own likes and dislikes, dreams and hopes, past and future.

I would love it if I could talk to them, interact with them, reach out to them, get to know them. I know that I am a stranger to them just as much as they are to me, but help me make the most out of my one chance meeting them, Lord, to show even the tiniest shred bit of You.

I wanna know, can you show me?

I wanna know about these strangers like me.

Tell me more, please show me

Something's familiar about these strangers like me.

There really are so many things to see, only and only if I open my eyes to them.

The Arms of My Saviour

2011-12-22T21:44:00.001+08:00

There's something about stepping out your comfort zone, venturing into a new world, exploring and being exposed to a totally different life than the one you're used to, where you leave everything you're used to and comfortable behind, a place where the word 'vulnerability' is given a whole new meaning.

O Father, o Father. I'm lost, desperate, directionless, and drained mentally and emotionally. I need You, I need to be with You, to lie on You, to be in Your arms. Help me, Father. I am in a totally new environment, surrounded by totally new people. Help me to continue to look to You, to draw from You. All I ever need is You, Father. Everything I am is in You. Help me to remember that. Don't let go of me, hold onto me. I know You will never let me go. I'm afraid, O Father. I'm afraid of falling. Comfort me, encourage me, build me and let me know that You will NEVER let me fall.

A Whole New World

2011-12-20T22:48:00.000+08:00

God, in a place where I appear to be alone, I ask that You show Yourself even more, that You shine even brighter, that Your company will be the one I seek. You are my best friend, my Lord, my King and everything I surrender all to You.

A whole new experience it is indeed, working. Two days so far and I haven't done anything productive besides finishing the Last Olympian again. Hahaha. Hope tomorrow I'll have work to do!

The Race of Faith

2011-11-17T10:25:00.001+08:00

Teared up when I read Hebrews 12 today. :')

Forgetful

2011-11-09T00:57:00.000+08:00

I, indeed, am a really forgetful person. I know I'm supposed to trust You. But at times, I forget why I do.

It's cause you've already taken care of the biggest problem in my life. All my sins, all my inadequacies, have all be washed away by you.

How can any other problem I encounter ever be bigger than what You've already washed away for me?

It is for this reason, that You've done away my biggest problem, that I trust in You to deal with all the other petty, incomparable stuff in my life. Thank you GOD!

It's Obviousssss

2011-11-05T04:13:00.001+08:00

Spent the day thinking about how God is actually super obvious in everyone's lives.

Spent the next part thinking how nice it'd be if everyone knew and came to love God as God loved them.

I guess that's how heaven will be like. It's gonna be awesomez.

Humility

2011-10-17T18:38:00.003+08:00

I've been giving a lot of thought to that recently. I think it was Pastor Richard who said this in the "Spiritual Disciplines" talk.

Treat what everyone else has to say more important that what you have to say.

I think we do that sometimes. Not just about what other people have to say, but also the fact that you pay more attention to yourself when there are so many other more important things that are going on. I guess we need to realise that sometimes the world does not just revolve around you alone. Self-pity does not lead you anywhere.

Realising that the magnitude of your problems does not even compare to all the problems that are going on is very humbling indeed. So deal with it already. You're called to do so many great things and they are all left unfinished while you mull around, absorbed in your own little world.

I say there is a fine line when it comes to stepping up, taking charge and leading others, all with a humble heart. That is where a lot of us stray most of the time. It is seen everywhere, especially in places of power like the government, where our own self-sufficiency gives us a false sense of self-righteousness.

Heavenly Father, I ask that I always be humbled by Your greatness and never let my head swell larger than my heart for You. I know I make mistakes a lot and am a sinner, and in that, I ask for forgiveness. In the end, let all glory be unto You.

Pride and Prejudice

2011-10-15T22:27:00.001+08:00

The biggest challenge for humility in a man is his ego.

Harsh Lesson

2011-10-06T00:15:00.000+08:00

Knowing and experiencing someone's flaws shouldn't push you away from the person. It should help you to understand and accept the person for who he/she is and love the person even more regardless.

Expect to be disappointed. Everyone has their strengths and their weaknesses, and everyone has their own issues to overcome. Only through dealing with it can we grow stronger and the friendship bloom even more.

Problem?

2011-10-04T22:58:00.001+08:00

I wonder if it's me? Or is it the establishment? Regardless, Imma need to find an answer, pronto.

Things to Change

2011-10-03T23:52:00.000+08:00

I realised I have two different mindsets when it comes to either studying or reading the Bible.

"I know this already la I read dunno how many times ady. So repetitive one."

"I have obviously no hope of understanding this so I'll just read through without really taking anything."

I've always been like that, without realising it. I ask that You help to change this longstanding mindset of mine, o Heavenly Father. And forgive me for my past mistakes.

Malaysia

2011-08-30T23:46:00.000+08:00

Breaking my long hiatus for my one true love. Malaysia!

I'm so sorry I cannot celebrate your Independence Day tomorrow. Got too much work to catch up on. :(

Don't worry! I'll make sure when it's your birthday I shall be freeeeeee!

Who wants to go find a rooftop with me to shout "I love Malaysia!"?

From the Inside Out

2011-07-02T22:49:00.000+08:00

Everlasting.

Your light will shine when all else fades.

Never ending

Your glory goes beyond all fame.

Moo

2011-05-20T00:03:00.001+08:00

Day 5 - A thank you letter to someone who has changed my life.

I would like to thank me, myself and I. Thank you very much.

Ah, I honestly had trouble thinking about this one. There isn't anyone who has played a huge direct role in changing my life loads, but if there was a person, that person would've been the wacky, crazy Mr. Karl Edward.

I first met Karl in the 2009 30 Hour Famine Camp where I was under him volunteering in the security department, and I have to tell you, in pure honesty, that I thought he was just plain weird.
I got to know him better, got to know his true nature, his true capabilities, for one as weirdly humble as him to have and since then, he has been a great friend, a true older brother, a mentor and one of my most trusted confidantes.

I have to thank Karl because he was one of the most influential in leading me to Christ. And he did it by just being plain him. Being so Christ-like. And I want to thank him for that.

So Karl, thank you so much for being such a great, concerned old uncle in my life and always, ALWAYS ready to talk to me whenever I need you.

So there. I could've written much more but I already thanked Karl in his little booklet he got when he left CF last year.

Where the Love Lasts Forever

2011-05-18T22:16:00.002+08:00

Day 4 - What you imagine paradise to be like

Paradise huh? To me, I imagine paradise to be a place which defies all logic. Smashes all common sense into non-existence. A place of utter perfection, where there is totally no fault in anything.

A place where love exists in abundance. A place where the saying "A World Without Strangers" can really be said true. A place of total peace and love.

To me, I think paradise is a place of absolutes. Absolutely no sin, absolutely no evil, absolutely perfect. A good absolute. Absolutely paradise.

And I can dance and sing freely with Jesus.

Day 3 - The 5 songs you would have with you on a deserted island and why

2011-05-17T22:41:00.000+08:00

1. Without a doubt, the Coconut Song.
This would be self-explanatory for those of you who have already heard the song. Besides the fact that it's a catchy tune about COCONUTS and I'd be stranded on a deserted island with lots of COCONUT trees, there're are also a lot of valuable information in the song that I might use especially if I'm stranded. The song talks about how I can use the many parts of a coconut tree to my advantage and hopefully I'll be able to build up my own house and neccessities and whatnots on that island; something alongside the stories of Robinson Crusoe or Huckleberry Finn.

2. Pirates of the Carribean theme song.
What other tune like this would get me up dancing while stranded on an island? I might even draw inspiration from it and lie down on the beach til I catch a bunch of turtles, tie them up with my hair and let them swim me back to safety.

3. Fearless by Taylor Swift
I'd be pretty scared and of all people I guess Taylor Swift would cheer me up?

4. We No Speak Americano by Yoland Be Cool + Dcup
*dance dance dance*

5. Still by Hillsong
In all honesty, I'd bet I'd be pretty depressed if I was on a deserted island. I'd need some form of encouragement and sense of surrenderness to God to help me when I'm helpless.

Nostalgia

2011-05-17T12:21:00.001+08:00

I suddenly wish I was a little kid back in the 90's again. D:

Day 2 - Something that inspires you

2011-05-16T21:24:00.001+08:00

What ARE words when we don't even mean them when we say them?
Chris Medina stuck to his word. Even when his fiancee had brain trauma after her accident, he stuck by her. Because he gave his word. If it's one thing I'm inspired to do, it is the weight of my word. The responsibility that backs it up.

There you go. After learning of Chris Medina's story, I take giving my word seriously, and try to my very best to mean what I say and to carry out what I say. You can have my word for it. :)

Another 30 Day Challenge

2011-05-15T21:04:00.001+08:00

Looks like I'm the first person to initiate this huh. I doubt I can finish this in 30 Days though.

Day 01 - Guilty Pleasure

When I first saw this the first thing that came to my mind was speeding. Growing up as a rebellious, reckless teenager who had to drive on an empty highway to college at wee hours in the morning would be the sole reason I started driving at high speeds. It was the cool thing to do, especially when I had a racing buddy who drives up to Subang with me.

By golly, my Proton Saga was never made to be taken to the limits which I've taken it. I'm surprised my ol', faithful car has lasted me this long. (Okayyy, it's not THAT old.) It's cause of all those times I've driven at crazy speeds, taken corners without braking(much..) and the many times I skidded but yet come out of it alive that I've grown so attached to my car. Yeah, it was pretty bad back then. I remember my cousin saying after we came back from Curve one night : "I had to hang on for dear life."

It was exhilarating; the vibration of the accelerator beneath my foot, watching things go by at breakneck speeds, cutting other cars without so much as an inch of space, and the great rush that came with it all. I loved every moment of it. I even used to dream of directing a movie called "The Right Lane"; a story about how a young boy rises up the ranks to be the ultimate "worthy" driver who "owns" the right lane. (Don't judge me I was really annoyed with people who hogged the right lane back then. I still am.)

Over the years, after various different and much wiser people have chastised me on the responsibilities of being a safe driver and taking up ownership on my own life, my passengers and other people who may be driving on the road at the same time as me that I've stopped my speeding. It certainly took me awhile.

Yet again, part of me still longs to go back to my speeding days. Very rarely nowadays, when it's later in the night and there are less cars, I still attempt to get back home as fast as I can.

That is my guilty pleasure, and that small part of me will cling on to me for the rest of my life.

PS: Watching Fast Five did NOT help mind you.

Patience, young Padawan.

2011-05-11T11:09:00.002+08:00

There's a saying that goes,
Good things come to those who wait.

But I say,
Good things come to those who wait on the Lord.
(I don't know if anyone's said this before though)

Football Mad Nation

2011-05-09T01:33:00.002+08:00

Manchester United 2 - Chelsea 1

Bleh. There goes Liverpool's 18 title record. It'd be funny if Man United loses both their last two games though.

Football is a language that unites us all. Heartbreakingly.

Here we go again.

2011-05-08T13:34:00.000+08:00

I wish I hadn't stopped but hey, now's a better time as any to start again.

Class in Session

2011-05-06T23:53:00.003+08:00

Life's a classroom and You the Teacher.

Each lesson is just mind-blowing and Your syllabus is just perfect.

So Little Time

2011-05-02T22:35:00.005+08:00

Crunch time.

Exams are 5 weeks away and I'm a long way from completion. This calls for the utmost discipline and balance of time, and I pray that starting now will not be too late.

I have a crazy exam timetable. 3 of the units that I have loads to study for in 4 days. And it's all in the first week of the exams itself. Bad bad bad.

Then again, this is all part of Your plan. I'm sure I can depend on You for strength. So help me. I'm gonna need it. . ___ .

I've been dropping a lot of things this semester. One of them is my gaming. I realised that I have too little time to be spending wasting hours on pointless games like DotA or HoN or LoL(personal opinion very subjective) and that there are so many other better things I can do. And here are the list of my so-called my better things to do that I can procrastinate on during this study period, and even maybe after.

Guitar. (Need to worship God kao kao this period. Hahahahaha)
Picture editing. (It's not for just girls)
Cycling. (It's so much funner than jogging)
Drawing. (Tempted)

So yeah. Here's to ~~procrastinating~~ studying loads during this hectic period!

2011-05-01T12:16:00.003+08:00

I'm just writing random stuff. Coz I like this new font.

Outstretched Hands

2011-04-30T18:42:00.002+08:00

My hands are always here, and if you so choose to grasp them, I'd help pull you out of the situation you are in.

Look What Turned Up in the Mailbox!

2011-04-28T15:21:00.000+08:00

This is Rawr

2011-04-15T00:11:00.049+08:00

The sky darkened as the archers filled the air with their missiles.

One by one warriors fell as volley after volley of the missiles splattered over them. Even being the quickest of warriors will only allow you to last longer in this sure-death battlefield. Soon enough, remains were littered all over the floor and a loud cry could be heard in the air.

Half an hour earlier...

"Normals! What is your profession!?"

"OORAH!"

Warriors, who have accepted and willingly embraced death, stood together, shoulder-to-shoulder, ready to fight for what they believed in. Warriors, who had fearless eyes and hands that gripped onto their weapons as hard as steel. As one, we rushed out onto the battlefield, with battle cries and howls filling the air.

Most don't understand the extent of a proper full-out battle. As you rush into the battle on the front lines, logic ceases to exist. The confusion sets in and you get lost in the whole chaos of it all. At that point in time, your survival instincts kick in. Your weapon and you become a whole, an arc of pure destruction, striking one foe after another as they struggle to avoid the blows beneath their knees.

Present

Inevitably, the length of a sword cannot compare with multiple bombardments from enemy archers. Filthy, cowardly foes. One by one we fell with honour. We never turned back. We never retreated. With our heads held high, the enemy got us.

We were in desperate need of a leader, a king. To stand against the hordes of the enemy and to bravely proclaim "YOU ALL IS DIE!". And indeed, one rose up the ranks, against all odds, and single-handedly defeated the enemy with his two mere sticks of a sword, and hope was restored once again.

As the sun set lower and lower over the horizon, no obvious victor could still be determined. With the final battle looming, things were still down the wire.

Finally, this was it. The final battle. We geared up for this battle of battles; a battle of wits as much as a battle of brawns. Our swords clashed one final time as we yelled our battle cries one last time. One by one our enemy fell, though not without a price. With each one we took, we lost one of our own. The battle was going to be tight. Killing their king, we struck a major advantage, and slowly worked our way to taking the rest of the warriors one by one.

However, sneakily the enemy had found a devious plan to outsmart us all, and eventually, beat us to the chase. The war had been won, and a brave new world was born.

All of us sat down on the grass, dazed at how the battle was lost so easily yet so brilliantly. As a shout snapped us from our reverie, we huddled together, facing the photographer, yelling incoherently as the camera went *click*.

After we doused both game masters with pails of ice cold water that we were forced to bear throughout the battle, we packed up, changed and walked off to our various car parks, thoughts occupied at the dinner that awaited us, eager to fill our now-growling stomachs. Each and everyone of us discussing and laughing non-stop about the battle that had just transpired.

And that was our Rawr Games this semester. :)

Obvious

2011-04-07T23:27:00.002+08:00

You are so much more real to me, now than ever.

Fish out of Water

2011-04-05T00:19:00.001+08:00

This semester is really getting to me. The workload and the responsibilities I'm taking up, I get exhausted even from thinking about them, let alone getting to start doing them.

I slugged past my weekend and hardly made any progress on my work and I ended up procrastinating and sleeping most of the time when I was not out doing any of the organising and plannings. How am I supposed to handle the next few, crazy months ahead?

I'm struggling, struggling so bad, and I'm barely scraping through on a day by day basis and I do so with dragging feet, and reluctantly opened eyes. This is only the beginning, the calm before the storm. But in the midst of all this increasing workload I totally forgot about the pact I made, about the conclusion I came to have when I decided to dive into all this.

My dependence on God. Without Him, we're like fish out of water, and we struggle to breathe. When I made my decision, I was never capable of doing it all on my own. And that was the whole point. My trust and faith in Him had to grow, just as the need for me to be dependent on Him grew.

Truly, like Shern Ren mentioned last week, it's easiest to surrender everything to God yet the hardest. As humans we always, always tend to struggle on our own and we end up tiring ourselves.

Why do so when we have such an abundance of pool of energy waiting for us to draw from? All we have to do is just to be still. Be still in Him.

Breathe, just breathe

Take the world off your shoulders

And put it on me.

Little pieces.

2011-03-28T01:11:00.002+08:00

Everytime you meet someone, everytime you get to know someone, you place a little of yourself, a little of your heart in that person. The more you get to know the person, the closer you get to the person, the more you invest yourself in that person, the more of yourself you trust in that person.

Your life does not belong to you alone. It is in God's hands and in those people around you, close to your heart. And it's your responsibility to live your life to it's utmost fullest, if not for yourself, then for all those other people.

Do you fear death?

2011-03-11T21:49:00.002+08:00

I don't know about you, but when I think of that phrase, Captain Davy Jones comes to mind.

I've got a confession to make.

I indeed fear death. I tremble at the thought of it. Not because I doubt my salvation through Jesus, no. I definitely look forward to going to heaven.

It's just that, there're so many things that I feel responsible for here. That in dying, I leave it all unfinished here. My parents, my friends, the works that I can do here on Earth. The one thing above all I fear from death is, the opportunity to share with and bless the people I love here taken away from me.

However, that said, I can place all of my fears, including this one, to God, and trust that He knows what's best for me, that He has His plans for me. And I can indeed rest easy knowing that He is control. I feel so dependent; dependent on You and I know You won't fail me!! Thank you Lord!

I wanna liveee! I wanna live a long and healthy life and continue to be a blessing to everyone around me, to share and love all those that I meet with all my heart, just like how Jesus did before me.

And on that happy note, I shall go rack my brains on some Design II questions.

Banana Peel

2011-02-05T17:28:00.002+08:00

Gah.

I'm sorry, God. But it's just that I wish that I could hear from you more sometimes.

It's ours.

2011-01-19T19:12:00.001+08:00

"Seems like there's always someone who disapproves.
They'll judge it like they know about me and you
And the verdict comes from those with nothing else to do
The jury's out, but my choice is you.

So don't you worry your pretty little mind,
People throw rocks at things that shine
and life makes love look hard.
The stakes are high, the water's rough
But this love is ours."

- Ours by Taylor Swift

I really love this song by Taylor Swift. It represents a lot of the things that are going on in my life right now. For example, for God. People on the outside will never understand what you're going through unless they experience it themselves. And no matter what, whatever persecutions you may endure, in the end, it's the love you share between you and God.

This song I re-dedicate it to Taylor too! And also Liverpool. <3 It maybe rough, but this love is definitely ours. :D

On another note, I'm super, super, super disappointed I can't go to Taylor's concert. Sold out, as I should have expected. But still, sigh. Emo emo emo emo. :(

Happy New Year!

2010-12-31T23:13:00.003+08:00

What my heart desired most, was to escape the busy hectic hassle of New Year's and just spend a quiet one with the people that mattered most to me.

He has a way of putting things differently, but in the end, I still have my quiet New Year's and I am indeed spending it with the people I love and care about most. And there, on the couch, toasting to the New Year's with horrible on-the-spot made cordial, came our first New Year Resolution; to complain less. (Yes due to the cordial)

It has been a wonderful year of search, discovery and growth. The year ahead looks so bright with You hanging overhead. The people I'm gonna meet, the things that I will go through.

Thank you Lord, and may good times shower the year ahead!

The Good Life.

2010-11-03T10:35:00.001+08:00

This is definitely the good life. :)

Pum-pum-pum pum-pa-puh-dum

2010-10-22T00:56:00.005+08:00

As the saying goes, when life gives you lemons, you make LEMONADE! (yes your worst nightmares have come true)

But it doesn't end there. It never does. There are no such things as happy endings. There's always something new around the corner. You can overcome major obstacles, face great danger, look evil in the eye and live to tell the tale - but that's not the end. As long as you're breathing, you story's still going.

And in this story, it comes in the form of a duck. A really, really annoying duck. That. Just. Doesn't. Want. To. Give. You. Peace. It really just isn't fair. How this duck starts bugging you everyday and when you finally give in, still ends up annoying the crap out of you.

And you just can't understand. Really. Why and what this duck's purpose is.

While behind the scenes, the duck appears to be randomly bugging other people as well! Seriously, someone shoot this duck. I mean, like, how annoying can it get?

When you can't beat 'em, you join 'em. At one point the duck becomes so annoying that you just give in. I mean like, whatever man, anything to stop you from annoying me.

In the end, the duck was not just plainly trying to annoy you. There was a purpose behind it. Divine purpose, as some might be bold enough to say. It could be that, the duck itself wasn't aware of it's actions.

I guess, when it comes down to it, the "duck" (yes it's a metaphorical duck now) sometimes could be there just to test your patience. In the end, who knows? God works in really random and wondrous ways that we cannot comprehend. Even if a stupid annoying duck comes *waddle waddle waddle*-ing your way, smile and get him his grapes. It might just lead you to something huge.

And just like in this story, from the lemonade stand to the corner store, the duck might just seamlessly weave it's way thru and match-make the man in the stand and the lady in the corner store.

The Big Two-Owh

2010-10-11T00:34:00.000+08:00

I'm nearing the end of my Tuesday. But I have found You. I love You, and I will live the rest of my days according to your will. Thank You for everything.

Mum's the Word

2010-10-09T03:44:00.000+08:00

Awhile back my mum and I went shopping to get myself a new shirt. It's funny, over the years I seemed to have sort of grown out of getting my mum's opinions on my dressing style, in a sense. I wanted to make my own decisions, the rebellious period where I wanted "independence" in choosing my own sense of fashion, thinking it was what fit me best, that my opinions were what mattered, and making the decisions made me feel like the big boy.

Looking back, I realise what a naive person I was. After all, my mum HAS been around way longer than I am. She has experience way beyond my comprehension and however much I do, I can never be within touching distance of what she's been through in life. However, what I don't mean is that there should be a total dependency on my mum to make all the decisions in my life. There are way too many things in my life, and sometimes there are just mistakes that I've got to make myself. In the end, though, the final decision rests with me. But it doesn't hurt to lend an ear or two to listen to what your mum has to say.

And yeah, the shirt I chose, with the help of my mum, was pretty awesome. :)

On a totally random but somehow related topic, that's how I see the relationship between MUSA and the admin. A lot of the opinions going around from the candidates were based on how much they want "TOTAL INDEPENDENCE" from the admin. They want "full control" over all the decisions that pass through MUSA, and some even had the liberty of suggesting that they report directly to the so-called big-bosses of the whole Monash University. What they don't realise is that, when it comes down to it, we're all just students, and MUSA is, after all, only a student association. Yes the matters of the students should be taken into account, and yes it is okay to fight for what you believe are the rights of the students but, total and full control over all the decisions? (which includes millions of ringgit) That sounds just a wee bit too far-fetched for me.

We need the admin larh. The admin is like MUSA's mum on campus. Some people just don't realise that. Just because admin has been giving you problems, you don't just cut admin off. I believe trying to bridge the gap would be a better option. Communication is vital, especially when it comes to situations like this. I had a talk with Yvonne Yap the other day, and her thoughts coincide with what I've been trying to say. And that, that alone made my decision to vote for her as the president. I pray that in her year in office, she will indeed bring a change to MUSA, and a change to the welfare of students studying in Monash. For the better.

So heres to mums! Metaphorically speaking, in some cases. And a happy belated birthday to my mum too. <3 (wanted to post this sooner but have been so busy)

On a more personal note, I somehow realise that.. analogically speaking, that I've been keeping my cards close to my chest, more often that not. I guess that I fear that people might take a look at my cards and see how crappy it is. But hey, I'd like to be more open from now. And I guess that, whether I have a full on royal flush, or just a straight, I know that I'm still loved. By Him, and by all of you. And to forever be humbled by His grace and faithfulness in me.

Mighty to Save

2010-10-05T22:16:00.000+08:00

Today is praise the Lord day! Not that any day isn't. But still, today more than most! Teehee.

Thank you, Lord.

Shades of Grey

2010-09-24T14:13:00.002+08:00

I love shading! The contra is just so awesome. Too bad I'm not very good at it though.

And I didn't mean anything by the words "Sue Her!". It was super random lol.

Not just to look good.

2010-09-19T02:06:00.005+08:00

Gastby, L'oreal, Osis+. These are among some of the brands of hair-styling products that can be found in the market right now.

Hair-styling is a common practice especially among youths these days. If you walk around colleges and universities, or shopping malls, you'd tend to see different styles of hair everywhere. Mohawks, mullets, crew cuts, pony-tails, Ah Beng styles. The like.

The common perception with people who love styling their hair is that they are vain people. They want to look good, metrosexual, etc.

Personally, I feel that that is not the case. To me, hair-styling is a work of art. Styling your hair is not just randomly pushing and pulling your hair in various directions. When you look in the mirror, you imagine what you want to look like, and you have to live up to that imagination. Your every move is calculated, every swipe of the hand is purposeful all in the path to achieving that which you picture in your mind.

You are artists. And you are out to better your previous achievements every single time you lift up that hair wax. Not any single hair-style is exactly the same. Every strand of hair, every twist, every turn, every spike, must all be perfect before you set out of your bathroom door. There is no room for any "tidak-apa" attitude, no. In fact, hair-styling can easily be ranked way up there with paintings and sculptures in terms of works of arts.

Now that we've established that hair-styling is a work of art, I would like to point out the fact that you DON'T DESTROY WORKS OF ARTS. Can you imagine someone drawing a cartoon-ish moustache on the Mona Lisa? Or poking a hole in the butt of the sculpture of the Thinker? It'd be ruined! Amazing works of arts would have gone to waste if people have gone around messing with them, and we wouldn't be able to appreciate them.

The same goes for hair-styles. We who style our hair work very, very hard to achieve the final product. A lot of time has gone to waste if, say, your hair would get wet in the rain, or you instinctively but acidentally brush your hair with your fingers, or SOMEONE WERE TO INTENTIONALLY MESS UP YOUR HAIR. So much hard work, so much effort, just like that... (heart-broken voice) The agony of seeing you work of art destroyed, nothing can compare with such anguish. Sighhh.

So, kids. What would the lesson be here today? Let's all say it together.

"We shall not go around ~~messing up people's hair~~ destroying exceptionally beautiful works of art."

1 Malaysia, 1 Rice Bowl

2010-09-16T12:42:00.002+08:00

plucked from Malaysia Day, Star Special. 16th September 2010. (citation yo!!!)

O, rice, tell us your secret, how do you get on so well with everyone?

One moment you're mingling with a fiery mutton varuval. The next, you're with slices of succulent Ipoh chicken.

And every morning, you ever miss meeting up with ikan bilis, sambal and egg for breakfast.

At our big celebrations, you are always there celebrating right along with us.

For Raya, you join your friends to bring us ketupat and lemang.

Deepavali wouldn't be the same if you didn't put on your brightest colours to make the kolam.

And every Chinese New Year's eve, you help to bring home family from far and wide.

As for Gawai and Kaamatan, you're the reason everyone is celebrating!

Perhaps your secret is that you don't choose - it doesn't matter if we use chopsticks, fork and spoon, or hands. You're just happy to share a meal with us.

Everyday, as we sit down to share a meal with our families, you are always there reminding us about the true secret of our country.

That we all share 1 rice bowl - the one filled, grain by grain, by the sacrifice, hard work and unity of those who came before us.

And we all share 1 responsibility - to continue filling it, together, for those who will come after.

I know I know. You all feel like it's missing something right? If I was the one who wrote this I would add a line that says:

Even with a simple meal of just rice, meat, soup with herbs and tea, you provide a delicacy so famous that people from far and wide come to try it in a simple town called Klang. :)

Yeah, call me biased.

Cheese McShakers on a High

2010-09-12T01:02:00.011+08:00

Over the Raya holidays, Mr Wang invited us to his house to stay over for the night as his whole family was away.

The night, it turns out, started for real in a toilet. Danny's ground floor toilet, in fact. A few of us were there early, having eaten dinner together. It was Danny, Rachel Chua, Sara, Wilson and of course, me. We were just about to get comfortable when Danny suddenly got a call from Rachel. Turns out she got stuck in the toilet.

Aha! A damsel in distress! All of us got to work to get her out then. Wilson and I were doing our engineering thingy, trying to figure out how the door knob worked and how best to pry it out. We spent about an hour or so, during which Jared and Li Wen arrived on the scene to help as well. We pried and we twisted and we studied the lock, but to no avail. We got close though, we could practically see the stupid lock thingy to pull out. But in the end, with Jared around, there was no way the outcome could have been other than kicking the door down. Which is what we should have done from the beginning! Kicking the door down actually dealt much less damage to the door than all our efforts in taking the door knob out. This situation is just like the peribahasa "bagai tikus membaiki labu"! Waseh I still can remember yeah. :P

After that we practically just did our own stuff. Cheng Hong arrived right after we rescued Rachel from her toilet incident. I ended up playing 1-on-1 Twister with Jared and was shortly joined by CH. It was intense! Laughed so hard when at one point Jared's crotch area ended up right in Cheng Hong's face.

A bunch of us got hungry after that, so we decided to go grab something to eat. We walked from USJ11 to Taipan yo! Talk about exercising for your food. Had a small detour at the playground where we started playing with monkey bars and all. Typical.

At McDonald's (the only place around that was open), we were all on sugar highs from the refillable soft drinks and were making a load of noise. Cheese McShakers is so delicious nyumnyumnyummm. Took the long route back to Danny's just to enjoy the company and the fresh air.Cheng Hong and Wilson were burping into the girls' ears and stuff after all the soft drinks they ingested. We were practically dancing around in the middle of the road and freaking out passing drivers. It was really fun and felt just so free. :)
Wished "Selamat Hari Raya" to a few of the security guards who were unfortunate to be working on that day. Due to the occassion, we even started conversing in BM just to get in the mood. Which was where the term "kentut dari mulut" came about.We also realised that our BM has become really, really, really, REALLY rusty.

Back at Danny's, I managed to get everyone to watch Definitely, Maybe. TEEHEE! I'm sure everyone enjoyed it. (April!! *cue the screams*) After that was the gruesomely horrible Saw 5, of which I fell asleep. All of us feel asleep after 5am or so. Which meant that we woke up really late. Most of us were really lazy to do anything but just well, laze around. It was a super-chillaxing period.~~~

Well, after that the others went for lunch, and I went back home. They say that when you abstain from something, all the better you will feel when you finally get to enjoy it. It's in Jared's latest blog post here. That was how I felt when I got back home. Deprived from sleep, I brushed my teeth and showered and just died on my bed from 1-630pm.

If you're thinking of going to watch "Going the Distance" though, I would advise otherwise. A few of us watched it yesterday. That show was horrible and had no plot whatsoever. The whole show basically consisted of plane rides and sex scenes. Nonsense. JZ had a particularly hard time sitting thru the entire movie. SHOULD HAVE WATCHED RESIDENT EVIL! Gah.

Operation: Night Owl

2010-09-06T23:50:00.003+08:00

It's time to go all out! I'm gonna stay up all-night to do some catching up on my studies.

Do I have everything I need?

Food if I'm hungry: Aunt's Shepherd's Pie :9 Check.

Coffee to keep me awake: Neslo KAO. Check.

Snacks to munch on: Hi Tempura Seaweed. Check.

Notes to study: Textbooks. Check.

Bible when I'm bored: Check.

Drink when I'm thirsty: Nestle Low Fat Yoghurt Drink Blackcurrant flavour. Check.

Operation: Night Owl begins now!

If you see a zombie walking around tomorrow it could very likely could be me.

Changing Our World

2010-09-05T00:51:00.013+08:00

30 Hour Famine was just the beginning, and I believe He is lighting the path ahead of me to do more. Change Your World was really, really great, and it provided us with a very simple message:

We can make a difference.

The performance was crazy. Relent is a really amazing band and their rocking was just supeeeeerb. Their lead vocalist sang the whole night, jumping up and down the stage and towards the end, his voice was still super steadayy. The drummer and bassist rocked and the lead guitarist was just so, wow. His guitar solos can make people drool. I come back with a hoarse voice, fatigued legs, and a really contented heart. I've not rocked this hard since back in my high school days. I think my last experience like this was the Planet Shakers Malaysia concert.

But besides all the hype and the jumping and the screaming of the songs, there was a message to be delivered. The Subang Jaya state-assemblyman, Hannah Yeoh was there to deliver her message to us youths. How us youths are the deciding factor of the future of our country, and that we should start from N-O-W.

Sadly, she noted that many people are leaving the country to migrate abroad. Among the statistics were that from March 08' to November 09' about 300,000 Malaysians migrated out of Malaysia, of which 40% went to Singapore to make a living instead.

This is where the big question comes in: Run Away or Change?

Me? I love Malaysia. It is my home, and it always will be. And so, I choose to stay in Malaysia, and to make my stand, to make sure my voice is heard, and to work towards a change in our country. A change for the better.

One thing that Hannah Yeoh highlighted really hit me; the confidence in our law enforcers. When I come to think about it, I absolutely do NOT trust the police, the MACC, etc. And with good reason too. What with the anti ISA riot, or the Teoh Beng Hock case and all the bribes that those cops are willing to take. But when you come to think about it, they are doing their best as well. I guess? I cannot know for sure. However, I choose to give them a chance, for if no one does, how can they do their job properly? I, for one, know how different things can look on the outside when you don't understand it. And this Rakan Cop program could be the best way to work hand-in-hand with the policemen and understand their jobs more.

I was talking to Suyin about events like this. People generally come to these places coz of the hype; they jump and they sing and they have an awesome time and they agree to whatever the speaker in the front has to say, and they go back and do nothing. Which is absolutely pointless! There should always be a step forward after events like this, for these youths to get involved, for these youths to help change our world.

And that is what we should do. I can tell from the passion of the speakers after the event when I shook their hands, that they really believe in us youth, and that they really want to help us shape our country to make it a better place, and I am inspired by that passion I see in their eyes.

They believe in us. It's time we believed in ourselves too. It's up to us to make that choice, to make that change.

I'm hungry.

Warman the Sequel

2010-09-05T00:46:00.003+08:00

So, the second time I did Warman is over. It was great larh. Though just that teeny bit of regret that it didn't work out the way it could have. If not it would have just been pin-point perfect and we would've owned our class. RAWR.

This semester the students were quite horrible. They were super-slacked and lacked the intensity of last semester's students. The students just didn't care much about their Warman project. Heck, two days before the deadline and the project lab is still half-empty. Last semester however, the project lab was full the whole week. Most of us skipped all our tutorials and lectures just to complete it.

In a sense, it worked out better for our team. A 14.2 out of 17 is pretty great. And a lot to be thankful for. The last semester's runs for my devices were better than this semester's and we scored a 11/17. Which pretty much sums up how the standard is this semester.

In the end, though, a friend is now getting back on track in terms of his studies and work. That itself for me is worth 100/17. And I really thank God for bringing him (in a sense) back to life.

All in all, all I can say is this:

Warman : Mission Accomplished! (again)

This Is My Love

2010-09-01T22:55:00.003+08:00

I am so in love with this song right now.

Independence Day

2010-08-31T23:58:00.000+08:00

It's ironic that today, on the 31st of August, I am talking about a totally different Independence Day than the one citizens around the whole country are celebrating. As I was reading through my Electromechanics notes, it just hit me. I realised how spoon-fed I've been all this time.

Back when I was in school, I had loads of tuition classes that tell you what and how you should do it. Even when I was in SAM, the lecturers provided all the notes and all you had to do was to read and understand. I guess I came from a background where everything was so provided, and I was really spoilt, bad. It was so easy, all I had to do was just follow what I was being told and I would get the results.

Fast forward to now. I'm in my second semester of my second yeear. And I'm struggling. Big time. All this while I've been so dependent, I can't keep up with university life where I have to do things on my own and where everything is a do-it-yourself method.

It took me 2 years to realise this. For 2 years, I've been blindly trouncing around and been wondering why I've been doing so badly. Right now, I have to start to learn to be more independent. I hope it's not too late. Loads of different mindsets have to be reviewed and thoughts like "I know this already lah" have to be done with. In a sense I have to start learning everything from scratch again. On this day I shall announce my very own "Independence Day".

Sheesh I feel like my posts are getting too whiny these days. Will try to be more upbeat in the future!

Oh btw, happy birthday Malaysia. My country. My home.

Back to work!

2010-08-28T22:16:00.002+08:00

Boy the past two weeks have been surreal. I've been so involved in things, I've been neglecting so much of my work. It's time to start catching up again!

Just a minor flashback though. 30 Hour Famine has come and gone. And I really have to say that, I had this stereotypical mindset that Monash students are generally spoilt brats. But to actually see these people get down and dirty, to starve and still actually have a smile on their faces, I was deeply impressed.

I looked onto the Board of Hope and I really felt, for once, that there was hope. There, on the Board, was evidence that us, the 30 Hour Famine committee had achieved our objective, which was to raise the awareness among the Monash University students about how difficult it is for poverty-stricken children. And my heart really swells with pride at how much people can grow in 30 hours.

In fact, it was three quarters into the famine itself before I, busy complaining at one corner, finally realised that, if it was bad for me, how terrible it must be for those children out there. And it compels me to want to do more.

CF Outing was so awesome! Had such a great time. Putrajaya Wetlands really is an awesome place. It's a super awesome place for ~~camwhoring~~ taking pictures and having fellowship. The mashed potatoes were just superbly scrumptiousliciously *sighhhhhhhhhhh* good. Came back with a super athletic looking tan and a much contented heart. ;)

So now the fun's over, and I have to say there's been a lot I've not been doing with regards to my studies and I'm really finding it hard to gain my momentum again. The thought of how much I have to do, actually puts me off doing it. Argh, this has to stop. I'm spending too much time mourning the amount of work I have to do and end up wasting much more time. I need some form of jump-start!

On another random note, I seem to be looking at a deja vu all over again. I always let things get ahead of me and in the end, everything ends up ruined. It's a time of self-reflection. What is it in me that attracts or leads to these sorts of situations? Or is it cause I run away with my tail between my legs when things start spinning out of control?

I only know I can turn to You for guidance. Thank You so much for Your everyday influence in my life.

Revolutionary

2010-08-25T14:32:00.015+08:00

It's customary for the eldest of the family to bear the brunt of the attack, to start a new age in the family, to revolutionise. In fact, I wouldn't call it customary, more like since you're the eldest, you have to fight for things that parents are not sure whether to give you coz, like i said, you're the first child, and the boundaries are still a bit unclear.
It's because of this that younger siblings have it easy. For me, I had to fight for the right to go out with friends, getting a handphone, and even listening to Hitz.fm in the car, amongst other various stuff. It can get pretty tiring at times actually. But after all these years and perseverence, it's awesome to see how much things have changed, and all because I took that step.

A dear friend once told me, "Never let someone define what truth is for you! Go find out for yourself because when you are sure of what you believe in then no one can EVER take the truth away from you again."

And I have. :) I might just be in the biggest fight of my life right now. But I HAVE found my truth and I'm going to stand by it.

Here I am, about to take on the whole world. I feel like Monkey D. Dragon from One Piece. Revolutionary Leader. Nehehehe.

I know I have you guys, and I know I have the big guy with me. And I'm not worried.

D-Fortnight

2010-08-18T22:46:00.001+08:00

Omgosh I'm gonna collapse out of exhaustion soon. So many responsiblities, I'm barely making it thru. What with coping with studies, which I'm already behind, I have to manage so many other things as well. I think Joseph said this; he who manages his time well, manages his life well.

True words.

Gah, I really need to manage my time better. CF Outing next week ar! Better make plans asap.

All thoughts go to 30 Hour Famine this weekend. I pray it will be a success.

Clearance

2010-08-15T17:30:00.000+08:00

Today my mum finally got me to clear out all the old shirts that I have and not want to wear anymore. She's been trying to get me to do it for ages, but I've always procrastinated. I guess in a sense, my subsconsciousness have been somewhat reluctant to throw them out. I mean, my shirts are in a sense a part of me, part of who I was once, and part of who I am now.

As I went through all my old shirts, I found so many that I've forgotten over time. Some I suddenly feel like wearing again, some shirts I remember wearing at certain significant events. It brings back loads of memories from the old times, these shirts. It reminds me of my taste, which shirts I used to like and how I think about them now. It reminds me of how I've changed as a person, not just in terms of fashion.

It may sound like I took hours to select which shirts to give away but in reality, the whole process barely took 10 minutes. I kind of feel bad for those shirts. Like, after all these years of sitting in my wardrobe I just cast them out without a second look. It's as though I'm throwing out my memories, that five years down the road I'll have a different set of wardrobe and I'll be doing the same thing to the shirts I have now. I wonder how much I would have changed by then? Whether I would remember the shirts that I have casted out today.

I guess as time goes by we just change. And as more time passes we forget the sort of person we have been and how we've grown as a human being. I've always liked to think of myself as a sentimental person. Probably that's why I've held onto my shirts for so long in the first place. A part of me regrets that I have to throw them away, a part of me recognises the need to. In my heart, I mourn for the loss of my shirts. But somehow, for some weird reason, I feel like it's just not enough.

My whole shirt event reminds me very much of Toy Story 3. I guess I can take into comfort that rather than stay with me, my shirts will be given to those who need them. Just like how Woody and the gang end up with the little girl in the end. :)

Making a Difference

2010-07-31T13:54:00.000+08:00

I guess I've found my answer. Something to stand by and worth working my ass out for. :)

Searching

2010-07-29T14:39:00.001+08:00

Whoa, it's been awhile since I updated. Heh. No excuses. Just plain lazy.

My tutor asked us all today. Why do you want to become engineers?

That question seriously stuck. Why do I want to become an engineer? I realised that I don't have a proper answer. I wouldn't call it the funnest job in the world, or the highest paying job, or even a job which I can laze around all day and do nothing. In fact, it's one of the toughest courses Monash has to offer. Why am I working my ass off for something I don't even know I want? It's as if somehow life has just led along this one straight path, with no other alternatives.

I can't say I've been doing very well in engineering. I know I can do better. But why? I guess I need to figure myself out before I can actually fully commit to my course and my studies.

I need an answer. For my own sake.

On another random note, there was this incident in the cafeteria where the whole trolley containing loads of dirty plates and utensils fell and everything was all over the floor. I was having my lunch with Suyin and Abel at that time. Without hesitation Abel made his way to the trolley to help the workers pick up the stuff, with Suyin following shortly after. I went to help after that.

Now, I could pretend all I want and said that I would've gone and helped those workers regardless of Abel's and Suyin's actions but, that would've been bullshit. I definitely would've been one of those other random people who just stand there gawking at the workers as they try to quickly clean up the mess before they attract too much of attention.

It's great that I have friends like Abel and Suyin to look up to and take example of. It's sad though that our community has been reduced to this state.

However, taking myself as an example, I believe that everyone does have that heart of compassion to lend a helping hand regardless of the circumstances. All you have to do is to let go of that HUGE amount of pride in you. Yes I said it. Whether we know it or not, we humans are a very, very proud race.

In fact, many disputes and arguments can be solved easily if we just let go of our pride and ego and just settle our differences.

Okay, I'm saying more than I meant to and I'm starting to ramble about irrelevant stuff.

One word for Suyin and Abel though. Inspiring.

Exams

2010-06-15T11:24:00.001+08:00

The calm before the storm is always the worst. And when you're helpless before the raging, unpredictable typhoon, you do naught but pray that you survive it as best as you can.

Happy Mother's Day

2010-05-11T18:57:00.002+08:00

Brought my mum and my aunt to Garden's GSC Signature to watch Ip Man 2 on Sunday. :D They didn't know what we were up to, all the way to Midvalley, where my bro and I walked simply everywhere to pass the time and right up all the way to outside the cinema. Even when we thrusted the ticket into their hands and ushered them up the escalator they were looking confused.

I'm glad they enjoyed the movie. We wanted to get gold class tickets for them, but Ip Man 2 only had premium. And who would expect the mums to watch Iron Man 2 ( which was the only show with gold class) @.@. Turns out they DID want to watch Iron Man 2. =.=

But, of course, Donnie Yen did not disappoint them. His flurry of attacks and wondrous display of martial arts will keep everyone at the edge of their seats. And that cocky English dude's attitude would only serve as charcoal to fire to those who want Donnie Yen to beat him up.

Lepak-ed at MidValley for 2 hours+ while waiting for them. Spent so much money in the meantime. Bought my guitar capo, and Taylor Swift's Platinum Edition Fearless CD (Finally!). I'm broke. :(

After that headed down to Ama's house to bring her out for a simply dinner of wan tan mee at Tepi Sungai.

Awesome stuff. :)

We survived a war.

2010-04-18T00:07:00.001+08:00

Gosh, Warman Competition is over. Didn't win. Though we were close I guess. I'll pay tribute to my teammates Wei Xiang, Shem Daniels and Khai Shien for the awesome job they've done. I KNOW our device had the potential to go the distance. :) Good work guys! Hopefully we can group together again in the future.

Just finished one of the busiest weeks in my life. Organizing CF Easter Play and doing our Warman project really took up most of my time. Skipped the better part of the week trying to finish it. I wonder. Am I biting off more than I can chew? Balancing publicity and logistics roles in CF, IMechE, and all my workload.

At least one major assignment is over. Now there're three exams to study for. Tomorrow I take on Advanced Mathematics Engineering A! Time to catch up yo.

I think I have to re-start making to-do lists, or some sort of timetable. I have been procrastinating too much of late. But heck, that's uni life man! Awesome stuff. Right now, I'm super dreary. Could hardly think when doing my drawing crap earlier. Need some sleep to knock back some life into me. Of course, it's HON first!! Muahaha here I go!! :)

And I don't know how it gets better than this,

You take my head and drag me headfirst, fearless

Baldie

2010-03-28T15:40:00.001+08:00

Go bald for literacy! I decided to sacrifice my hair for a good cause. Thing is, the day before I was supposed to shave my hair, I discovered a very small note in the e-mail from World Vision.

The closing date for signing up is 12 March 2010.

It was the 16th of March. -.-

I decided to go ahead with the shaving of my head. Well, it was a new experience of course. I had already decided months back, and thing is, when you've decided something, it's difficult to turn back. (Especially when you've told everyone you were going to shave.) But that, of course, wasn't the reason i shaved. I shaved to show my support for the illiterate. And of course, since then, I've had many reasons to convince myself that shaving was indeed the right thing to do after all.

I save loads of money, what with using much less shampoo, moving rubber and all those random hair-products.

I save water and time while showering.

It's SO COLD! Especially when I sweat, and the wind blows. Chillin' yea. Makes going to the gym a breeze.

I love rubbing my head.

Everyone loves rubbing my head.

My head is nice to rub.

I look good in caps.

I love wearing caps.

Then again, I miss having tons of hair. I miss having to spike my hair. It's fun having a bald head. But I guess it's a one-time experience for me. Probably in the far future I would. Who knows?

Of kilos and pounds

2010-03-18T22:42:00.002+08:00

Balance.
Have you ever thought about it? Of how balance plays a part in your lives?
Having a good balance is essential in our lives, that's for sure. Right now, I feel, lighter. Everything seems so well-balanced. Well, of course, I have to put a bit more effort into my studies, though I think I'm doing a better job than last semester. It's still not enough. And I have to step it up a gear.

Anyways, that's besides the point. Balance huh? I guess when you've achieved that balance, it's like, you're able to do most of the things that you want in life.
I've being involved in so many things lately. I go to the gym, I have studies to do, tutorials to complete and assignments to discuss with my groupmates. I am re-learning how to play the guitar. I am spending time with my friends and family, not leaving anyone out. I'm playing sports and attending CF and helping out with IMechE.

Sounds overwhelming isn't it? Yet, I find that I still have loads of free time. Moments where I can sit in front of my pc and stone in front of Facebook, or watch How I Met Your Mother, or chat with the many friends I have on MSN. Okay, I probably have to do less of all this, and a bit more studying, but yea, its really nice.

And of course, there are times when you have to sacrifice some of the activities and prioritise yourself. That's when Engineering Design 1 is applied! OFFERS. Making decisions. I can't elaborate much right now. Have to read the slides again. But, yeah! You definitely need to know what is most important before making your decisions.

I'm living the life now. Have you ever felt that, if you died today, you would die without regrets, but you don't want to. Because you know tomorrow will bring more new things for you to enjoy, and you know that tomorrow will be even better than today. And you live looking forward to see the sun rise again tomorrow. :)

Change starts with you.

2010-03-17T23:14:00.006+08:00

It's been more than a month since I started going to the gym. I'm glad to say that I've been going consistently. Honestly, I was worried at the beginning that I would slack off but thanks to Edmund, and him saying that if I was disciplined enough to go to work everyday, I would have no problem with going gym.

I THINK that I have benefited from gym I guess? Hopefully I have. :/ I've never been healthier in my life. Seriously. But I do realise one thing though. All those aunties in the gym can run way more than I can. =.= So that's kind of my motivation la. To be able to run as much as those aunties!! Boy, what a goal.

Tomorrow I go bald!! Those who wanna show support, please contact me to donate to those poor illiterate people in the rural areas of Sabah. The funds are to be sent to World Vision Malaysia, and there is no worry that the funds will be misused. There are even forms to fill and everything. Come look for me la. :)

Today I spent a lot of time with many awesome people. First of all, I went for lunch with Karl and went back to his house to collect his stuff and everything. His piano was playing was awesome. Breath-taking performance of his very own version of my personal favourite "River Flows in You" by Yiruma. Though he kind of spoils it with that stupid expression while playing.

Secondly, though it may seem weird, is my Mechanics of Materials lecturer, Mr Goh Kheng Lim. Lol, I don't normally praise lecturers but I realised today that he is a very hands-on lecturer, and he never criticises a student for being wrong. He just goes, "I think it should be like this...". I don't know why, but somehow that made me respect him a lot.

Last but not least, ALL THE AWESOME PEOPLE IN CF WHO SUITED UP TODAY! Everywhere in Monash today you could see people in suits and you could safely say that they're from CF. Tribute to Barney Stinson from How I Met Your Mother. We are awesome! Oh, and happy birthday Sara.

On a random note, Flirty at Ten Thirty is pathetic. Just plain pathetic. Hooking up married ladies live on air? How low can u stoop to get publicity, FLY FM. You guys are the most worthless pieces of scum. Rawr.

MEC Monash Year 2

2010-03-06T15:41:00.000+08:00

It's the start of a new year in Monash! Things are gonna be different. The six of us are separated now. Wei Xiang and I are in Mechanical, Khai Shien is in Mechatronics, Rohit in Electrical and Electronical, Teck Wei in Chemical and Nicholas is repeating a semester. As Wei Xiang reflected the other day, sadly, the group of six has now become 2. Sigh. But it's alright, we still do have classes together, and we still can hang out.

1st week has just come and gone. I ended up skipping my very first class on my very first day due to some timetable problems. Not a very good start to a semester which I hoped to do well. Apparently I took a unit which was supposed to be taken only in the next semester and there were clashes and everything. Soooooooo I dropped that unit and ended up not skipping anything! My record is still clean. :)

Wei Xiang and I got dragged into IMechE by Kenson and Ervin on the very first day itself. Insitution of Mechanical Engineers. Sub-committee. My job prescription involves updating the group's Facebook group page and taking lots and lots of pictures of our activities. Talk about convenience. I'm already always on Facebook now that I have my internet back and I can put my camera to proper official use this semester! :D

We already have been briefed on our first assignment. It's called the Warman project. It's basically the passing of loads over obstacles and the usual stuff. I'm in the same group as Shem, Khai Shien and Wei Xiang. S9 FTW! We'll be unstoppable. xD We spent our first discussion super-productively, as usual.

No really. We did come up with alot of stuff. :)

Stood on the rooftops.

2010-02-28T18:13:00.002+08:00

In the blink of an eye. The snap of my fingers. 3 months has passed.
Tomorrow will be the start of a new semester. To me, it represents more than just the re-start of school. It represents a new beginning. The start of me turning over a new leaf. Hopefully.

The holidays have been phenomenal. It has been a great exposure working in Fullhouse, where I spent the bulk of my time. I've met so many wonderful people, who've influenced me in many different ways. Most importantly, I felt that I can look back and feel like I've done everything that I've needed to do. I felt that I've accomplished many feats, some simple, some personally difficult. But all it matters in the end is that I did it, and I have no regrets on everything I've done.

Forwarded e-mails always tell the same old boring stories on how a girl didn't tell a guy how much she loved him and blablabla before he dies and everything. Having those kinds of regrets can sap alot out of a person. When you keep reflecting on how you could've done something when you had the chance.

I try to live my life that way the best I can. Back when I attended Super Camp, the one lesson that really stuck was to sit on the Chair of No Regrets. Of course, now it is just figuratively.
Of course, every action has its consequences. Sometimes it's difficult. But in the end, the ordeal you overcome serves you with the opportunity to learn and the ability to grow beyond the person you are.

So there, the holidays have come and go, and I can proudly say that, I have done what I could, and I can live without any regrets.

Get up and go

Take a chance and be strong

Or you could spend you whole life holding on

Don't look back just go

Take a breath move along

Or you could spend your whole life holding on

You could spend your whole life

Holding on

I have my own two feet. And I shall walk wherever I want with them.

2010-02-26T20:31:00.000+08:00

End of the holidays!! There's still three days left. So I'm gonna enjoy myself while I still can.
Samantha left already. I drove her to the airport in my aunty's Mercedes. :) Her dad mistook the day and went out without his phone. Kinda of panicky that moment.

It was damn weird, coz I met Shaun Shern and Rishi at the airport. There were going back to Melb U and were taking the same flight as my cousin. I hadn't met them at all the whole time they were back here. Heck, I didn't even know they were here. I guess I was too busy working at Fullhouse. Well, I extracted promises from them that we would meet up the next time they were back here and NOT at the airport by coincidence when they're leaving. I'll probably be leaving with them next year anyway. Yay :)
What a weird night that was. I met Audrey rushing to the check-in counter taking the exact same flight. It was a nice surprise being able to wish her goodbye one last time as well.

Kinda makes me wanna go to Australia even more. It's all up to me then. Boils down to this one semester. RAWR. I will do my best this semester and I will go to Australia next year. I am actually relishing the challenge right now. Looking forward to Uni starting.

Helpless

2010-02-23T22:57:00.004+08:00

Ah, it's jie's last night in Malaysia and I'm using her lappy for the last time. Boy have I grown attached to this Mac. Twice these holidays lightning has fried my modem and this laptop has been my only link to the world wide web.

Went for our karaoke session yesterday after like, two times of failed attempts. Crazy time we had there. Samuel ordered a bucket of Heineken and we started playing this Cantonese "Go to McDonald's" drinking game. Funny shit especially when Don and I didn't know what we were actually saying and mis-pronounced it. Laughed the hell outta ourselves til we were gasping for air and all of us had stitches. Terence was choking with laughter. Haven't seen him laugh that hard before.

Damn I've been eating a lot lately. Just eaten another plate of my aunty's pasta and I'm going for mamak later with the cousins. Our last night out together. Sobs. :( Ron has already left. Samantha's leaving tmr. Darlene the day after. Samuel soon enough. Rawr. I hate this time of the year. I'll miss all of you.

Chinese New Year has come and gone. Honestly, this year I felt that we lacked certain significant members of the family. But, oh well, we all have to move on in our lives somehow. Hopefully more will make the time to come back for Chinese New Year next year. Something to look forward too then. :)
Gosh. I'm horrified to think of the future now. Everything seems so uncertain. I guess all I have to do is live life to the best I can and be as present as I can in the present. Amazing pun huh?

We don't really have much liberty of looking back at the past. Time really waits for no one. One second its here, the next its not. But when all is said and done, the very best you can do is look back and have no regrets. Damn I'm rambling. I guess I should stop now. All this going-ons are clouding my mind already. :/

Think about the love inside the strength of heart.

2010-02-19T12:16:00.003+08:00

Sometimes, you don't know where it all went wrong.

Sometimes, the world doesn't revolve around you alone. There are other people that you need to consider.

Sometimes, futile as it may be, it's as though I'm trying to convince myself more than I convince others.

Sometimes, things get pushed to such extreme conditions that even the strongest beliefs get put to the test.

Sometimes, you just wish everything would go back to when hings were much simpler.

Sometimes, you just don't know what to think.

I've seen and heard so many things that I'm not sure I had wanted to right now. It's overwhelming. I just can't believe how screwed up things can get.

What the fuck is going on?

Gifts.

2010-02-16T00:27:00.013+08:00

Well, these are the best gifts anyone can give me. I finally have an Ipod! Gosh its been so long since I've had an outlet to play my songs with other than my computer. The last one was my W800i which only had 512mb space. = = Its nice having a music player I can carry around. Now anywhere I go my music babies are with me. :)

Chinese New Year has been awesome so far. I've been playing a lot of 3-man mahjong and Texas Hol'em. My brother got the chips and the whole set from his friend. Crazy weh. After playing Texas, Blackjack feels so dead and boring. :/

On the other hand, mahjong has been a huge learning process. Playing with all the uncles and also my dad. Freakin pro weh. Under constant pressure all the time.

No fireworks this year though. We probably will set off the huge one on the eighth day for prayers and all, but the main kaki for the fireworks especially Philip are not here this year. A bit empty without them but, oh well, we might as well make the best of it.

Ah, time does fly. Its already the end of the 2nd day. There's gonna be a dinner tomorrow at Sri Hartamas. Looking forward to it!!

When all is said and done, you could be the one

With open arms and open eyes

You're jumping off the edge and hoping you can fly

Accept your fate for what it is

Into the great unknown

YEAH!

Its time.

2010-02-14T00:52:00.004+08:00

Its that time of the year again. The time where brothers and sisters and cousins and uncles and aunties overseas come back to spend time together. The time where containers filled with biscuits and titbits can be seen everywhere in every Chinese house. The time where the whole night sky is ablazed with fireworks of all colours and shapes. The time where ang-pows are handed from the bethroted to the non-bethroted. The time where there will be lion dances, dragon dances, the funny-man-with-a-weird-smile mask, the likes.

The time where my family, will sit down and have our annual steamboat in my grandmother's house. The time where Ron, Terence, me, and co will fight for the dominance of the container filled with bah-kuas. The time where mahjong sets are taken out, cards are dealt and shouts here and there echoing the lament of one who has lost money in a gamble. The time where, however weird it may be, to have the nasi lemak that we always have on the first the of Chinese New Year for breakfast and lunch. The time where after lunch we will visit the old folk's home near the old bridge in Klang, where we pour as much love and sympathy to the folks who have naught to celebrate this special day with.

Most of all, its time spent with family, friends and all loved ones to celebrate and welcome the arrival of the Lunar New Year.

Its this time of the year again. Happy Chinese New Year and Gong Xi Fa Chai.

Resolution

2010-02-09T23:24:00.002+08:00

I've made my decision. I'll take the coming semester as my probation. If I continue to be irresponsible towards my studies, I will not go to Australia next year.
This is war.
I know I might be sacrificing a lot, but its time I take a stand. I cannot continue the way I am anymore. I must and will do well this time. Coz i know I'm more capable than this.

Feliz Cumplean~os!

2010-02-09T00:30:00.003+08:00

It the time of a year again! Thank you for blessing my life all this 19 years. You have been a great support and role model to the family and to me. Happy birthday, dad. :)

Life's Brief Candle

2010-02-07T18:00:00.006+08:00

Went for a random outing out to Setapak yesterday night with Kean Peng and Jong Yih. Jong Yih has an apartment there near TAR College where he studies.
It was quite cool having a whole apartment to ourselves for the night. The whole place looked like some backdrop from the settings of Left 4 Dead. It got pretty creepy especially when we came back at night. But the place was cosy enough. And the view from the 17th floor is definitely something.
Basically we spent the whole night playing dotA at a nearby cyber cafe.

We lost every single game we played.

At 4, we walked back to the apartment feeling dejected and wanting to quit dotA. :/
After that we watched anime. Jong Yih has loads in his pc. I'm bringing my hard drive there the next time I go. He even has the whole season of Rave. The show still has its kicks. Ended up sleeping at about 6. It was nice having a bonding-bonding chat with Kean Peng again.
O btw, Kean Peng introduced me to this Korean group called Girl's Generation? I think its quite popular. He showed me their music video "Gee". Eh, I was surprised wehhhhhhhh. The girls are actually damn prettyyyyyyyyyy. The power of plastic surgery I guess.

I have a grand-uncle of mine who passed away today. It's funny. He had this major operation last year for his intestines and he already seemed fine. I can't say I was close to him but, I grew up having him around. He used to fetch me around when I was younger. Back in Form 5, I used to talk to him in the car when he fetched me back from tuition and stuff. He used to always ask me the same questions, like what I'm studying and my chinese name. Its hard to believe that he's gone.

I went for the funeral earlier. The reality didn't hit me til I saw his picture on the altar and when i paid my last respects to him. My mum couldn't take it and broke down. That's the thing about her. She always puts up a brave front, always scolding other people, but deep down she's the one who's the most emotional.

Damn. Life is so fragile. You never know when someone could be taken from you. Its as though any moment anyone can be snuffed out just like that sometimes. Right now, a member of our family has been lost. The timing couldn't have been worse, with Chinese New Year around the corner. We can all only mourn for what has been lost, and wish that he rests in peace.

Ohana.

2010-02-05T00:13:00.010+08:00

My job is hard, but not as hard as the jobless.

This phrase is so true. In a much different way then the actual meaning implied. Its been awhile since I blogged I guess? I felt that I owed Fullhouse a proper blog-post before I could post up other stuff.

I stopped working in Fullhouse last Sunday. I've worked there for approximately 8 weeks. Baaaack when we started on Dec 8th.
December 10th; my brother's birthday. I missed the party, but for what it's worth, I couldn't have missed it for anything more precious. The opening day of Fullhouse. I remember the anticipation we had, after days of setting up the restaurant. I remember our very first customers, Sharon and Emily Quak. I remember our computer system failing, everyone getting confused, and having to hand in the orders manually by hand. I remember how it got super-hectic, and we ended up super tired at the end of the day.
So much has happened since then. I've met so many new people. I've found my shopping feet at last. I've learnt so much, from things to do with the restaurant, to random talks that I had with my colleagues. Family. We really achieved that didn't we? We just can't get enough of Fullhouse. The people, the environment. I love Fullhouse.
I will definitely miss being a server. Running around, taking orders, clearing tables, delivering food, setting up tables, asking for bills, chatting with Hokkien customers, and the one time I had to clean baby poo of the baby chair. :/

There are so many things I've grown attached to in Fullhouse.
The kitchen : Mashed Potato with Black Pepper Sauce. Awesome stuff! :D
The bar : Honey Lemon with extra, extra, extra aloe vera. Drank 3 cups of this when I was sick baaaack in December.
Closing Duties : Mopping. After all the complaint, I still ended up loving this duty more than the rest. :/

I will miss hanging out at the cashier, teasing Su Ning and being bullied by her in return. The hostess area where I will always argue to write the names on the floor plan, while drawing random words as well. I will miss the Korean songs, no matter how unbearable they got when I worked there. I will miss the anticipation of waiting for "Accidentally in Love" by Counting Crows, it being the only decent song on the CD at one point. I'll miss singing my lungs out to the English songs from the CDs us Fullhouse staff bring after getting sick of the Korean songs. I will miss parking at Esso at almost the exact same time as Wei Xiang, and walking the long distance to Fullhouse, just cause the parking was too expensive.

Before I left, I'm glad I got Jonathan(small) and Ian (small) to sing while working. That way, my legacy still lived on. :D

The badminton outings we had, the futsal sessions. The random night-outs; steamboat, Bidara, Taipan, JS, Republic, Laundry, etc. I will miss them all. I'll remember that I shisha-ed the first time with you guys. And found that I didn't like it.

No words can fully describe my whole experience working in Fullhouse. Yet, I'm sure this was able to provide a brief, albeit messy, description of my first ever job. I will miss working there. : /

Thank you all for making this such a memorable experience for me.

Jobless

2010-02-01T10:47:00.001+08:00

The reality hasn't sunk it yet. But it will, oh, it definitely will.

Music Feast

2010-01-30T22:58:00.004+08:00

Walking into Fullhouse today, there was a real change in the atmosphere. Michelle brought her CD to play in FH today. I guess it was a parting gift to FH? Lovely songs played. Really enjoyed working there today.

Among the songs played, one was "Hands Down" by Dashboard Confessionals. I haven't heard that song in ages. It brought back plenty of memories. To me, that song is like, in a way, one of the best love songs of all time. Its weird, I know. The lyrics are self-contradictory and over-exaggerated. But I love it. And i really find it damn meaningful. :)

One more day til the end of an awesome journey. Today was the last time I actually worked with Thang as his off-day was tomorrow. I don't know what I'd do tomorrow. We're going to Bidara after that for some shisha session and stuff. But right now, I wanna focus on giving my all for my last day as a server in Fullhouse. When I see you, my mind goes blank, my tongue gets tied, and I have to resist the urge to run away. What happens now? Can I look back without regrets in the future? What can I do?

There might have been a time
When I would let you step away
I wouldn’t even try
But I think you could save my life

Last.

2010-01-25T10:09:00.007+08:00

I'm into my final week of work at Fullhouse. The schedule of my last week is already out. In a way, seeing the schedule makes it even more real that I'm finally gonna stop working.

Time just flew like that. I can't believe how fast everything just went by. I can still remember walking around with Michelle and Khai Shien baaaack when we were looking for a job and not having a pen. :/

So much has happened since then. I've met so many new, awesome people. I've gotten closer to the ones i already knew. I've grown to love the shop that I helped start open and everyone and everything in it. I'm gonna miss the environment at Fullhouse, the energy in it. I guess I'll save my thoughts for an emo post on my last day.

It has definitely been an excellent learning experience for me. I'm really glad I chose to work this summer. And I definitely won't forget the experience and knowledge I have gained from it.

Oh, oh and the money I have earned from it. Gosh. I got myself a new pair of futsal shoes from Adidas.
Behold, my new pair of AdiQuestra shoes!
Alright, I got the picutre from Google. But these are the same pair I bought. They're meant to be multi-purpose, like for casual and futsal and maybe badminton or something too.
And I saw these effin pair of shoes too. OH MY GOD ARGH!!!!!
I need a new pair of basketball shoes. :( Mine has been worn out from wearing to work everyday. But these pair are just outta my budget. RM359.90 I think. Damn they look awesome. Sigh. Even if I buy them I'll probably wait awhile first and ask my mum to help subsidize. :/

My name is Brandon.

2010-01-24T01:30:00.009+08:00

My name tag got wasted in the washing machine on Thursday. Wasn't a problem yesterday, coz it was my day off. Thing was, "Papa and Mama" started this new, er, rule to those who don't have name tags on them. They write out our name tags on masking tape. @.@
So there it was, everyone staring at me and saying, "Oh, this is Brandon" etc. Funny lah. Haha. Made me wear that thing for a bloody hour I think. Embarrassing lah. =.=

Yesterday we went to Laundry at the Curve to celebrate Lynn's last day and just to have a night out. In a way it was my first time "clubbing". Went to dance and everything. Drank a little bit only la, being the responsible driver I am. xD Mahai got road block all some more on the way back to Sunway. Lucky I wasn't red or anything.

Today after work went to have a drink with Edmund, Wandy and Wei Xiang. Love these kinda bonding-bonding conversations. I may sound a bit hypocritical coz of what I said a few posts back but, sometimes its really beneficial to listen and learn from those more experienced than you. They do indeed have experience and everything.

I find that actions speak louder than words. So I have to go all out to prove what I say.
And boy, do I suddenly feel like I need to grow up. Somethings in life are just not happy go lucky all the time. I have this belief that people who think themselves mature are actully not. At some level, I always thought that I attained a certain degree of maturity. Turns out I was right for the first; and dead wrong for the second.
What do I want in life? That's not even a question I can answer right now.

Positive outlooks reflect with positive results. I find that I am learning more and more each day. And it really benefits me alot.

Leading by Example.

2010-01-19T00:11:00.002+08:00

Finally, I managed to get the T-shirts! Had to go all the bloody-way to Pavillion to get it. :/ But the trip there was nice. The last time I was there we only took pictures in the entrance and only walked around a bit. This time we got to hung around a bit more and went window shopping and stuff as well. Wei Xiang got his Quiksilver bag, and Debbie got her skirt. (-.-) Freakin scary on the way back we got lost on this road called Jalan Bellamy or something. Led to a blardee dead end. In the end we managed to get back alright. Anyways, that was Vincent's first trip to Pavillion. Pretty sure it was a memorable one.

Today, the bosses came to redecorate Fullhouse. As I was closing today, Wei Xiang and I had to take those stupid round plants up and down, to and fro from the store. After the kitchen had closed and everyone left the bosses started their work. Tommy, Brandon Hui, Eu Jin, Lois and the Big Mama was there. They took down all the Christmas decos and put up the CNY ones.

This really made me respect them alot. I pointed it out to Edmund, how the WORKERS were watching the BOSSES doing the work. Edmund smiled and said, "That's the thing about Fullhouse. The bosses lead by example. You'll never get lost here."

You could really feel the energy in the room. Everyone wanting to help out, as though everyone was equal. Everyone doing their part to make Fullhouse a better place. Maybe that's the thing about watching bosses work, you kind feel like you've gotta do your best to prove yourself worthy to work under that boss.
There was sorta like a Fullhouse spirit. Felt like a real family. :) Even Cathy was sweeping the floor at the dining room. (Even though it was for a totally different reason! xD)

I'm really glad I did closing today. But I might not be when I have to wake up tomorrow to go futsal. Argh I needa sleep now.

You make me smile like the sun
Fall out of bed, sing like a bird
Dizzy in my head, spin like a record
Crazy on a Sunday night
You make me dance like a fool
Forget how to breathe
Shine like gold, buzz like a bee
Just the thought of you can drive me wild
Ohh, you make me smile

Reunion

2010-01-16T23:31:00.005+08:00

Every year it has been a tradition for all of us to spend Christmas Eve, New Year's Eve and the first day of Chinese New Year at Auntie Mary's place. She has been a wonderful hostess who brings the family together every single year. Sadly, they weren't around during the time and there was no gathering. This year, Auntie Mary and her family spent Christmas and New Year's overseas i think. :/ And they'll be at Australia for CNY. However, that didn't mean that we couldn't meet up! So we had a gathering at Auntie Mary's today. Totally random and for fun. Yet most of us in Malaysia were there. I rushed home from Fullhouse at 6 to join in on the fun. I'm so glad I didn't miss this. Sigh.

Everything happened like it always did. The adults sat at the adults table, the teens or so called younger generation sat at our own table. We ate Auntie Mary's awesome cookings, lepak-ed awhile while catching up and out come the cards. :D Awesome stuff. I'm really glad some things just don't change.

Mia. Our whole family revolves around her now. She's gonna be one heck of a spoilt child.

Something to be Proud of.

2010-01-08T12:36:00.005+08:00

Okay now to push that annoying post below.

After 31 days of working in Fullhouse, we FINALLY got what we've been promised for agggggessssssssssss!

Our name tags!! I remember being told we were going to get it waay back on the Dec 11th. But still, better late than never right? :D

Btw, on some random note, my favourite episode EVER in How I Met Your Mother is Season 2 Episode 2 - First Time in New York. Heart-warming to the core. :) In a way.

Right thing?

2010-01-06T03:30:00.007+08:00

You see, sometimes, doing the right thing, isn't the right thing to do. In fact, that "right thing" you wanna do is probably the worst, stupidest fuckin idea you can ever think of. Thinking of it being the right thing and it being the right thing to do is totally different. And guess what? You end up having to face the consequences and living to regret what you've done.

Things like that happen in life. You tend to be naive and expect everything to turn out just fine. You think that taking that one step will open doors to new opportunities. But you're dead wrong. Advice from older people may help. They have the experience and knowledge coz they have been thru similar experiences in life. However, some things you have to discover on your own. Neither a chef's asshole comments, nor a supervisor's encouraging words, nor a manager's motivational quotes can do anything to help you cope with your situation. Though one quote does suit the situation: "Shit happens."

Which only leaves one question to be answered.

What happens now?
I have no idea.

A plucking from Edmund's book of quotes.
"I can't do it" has accomplished nothing. "I will try" has accomplished wonders.
BS. "I will try" will only bring you disappointment.You try, try and try your best. Always hoping, always believing. Being optimistic.

Pfft.

Optimistic to the point of foolishness. At the very least, thru "I can't do it", you can do just live your life the way it is without having to change its ignorant, blissful lifestyle.

Fate has a funny way of showing its hand. One moment you're thinking you can't possibly have any worse luck, the next you find yourself stumbling into a much deeper hole.

Shit does fucking happen. And you have no choice but to go through hell when it does.

I may end up living to regret posting this. But to hell with that. I'm gonna rant all I want cause I don't give a damn anymore. Screw it.

Lessons from a Chef

2010-01-03T10:26:00.008+08:00

Nope, it has nothing to do with cooking. Funnily enough, I don't take back my words on Ah Dong in my previous posts. He still is an asshole. Yet, listening to his opinions and principles, I've come to understand things better and have clearer views on life.

I won't be following everything he said through and through though. Stuff like going clubbing for a month consecutively or drinking 5 bottles of cough medicine is a teeeeny wee bit too out of my league for me. -.- But there are certain things he said that really stuck. Certain questions that need to be answered.

What is the point?

What are the causes and results? (Its direct translation from Mandarin so it doesn't sound so cool.)

Maintaining.

And most of all, he talks about your brain working faster. "Jangan bodoh sampai bumi."

Great time yam cha-ing with him, Ian and Debbie yesterday. I was, in a way, forced to re-access myself and things I thought were simple.

Hopefully the next time we go lepak after work, he won't ask for his blardee consultation fee. Haha. Even though I always kena from that guy, he kind of knows his stuff.

Honestly, its like I have Han Jien back from the days of schooling.
I think I've found my point. I can see what Ah Dong meant now. How important that point is.

If it's not real

You can't hold it in your hand
You can't feel it with your heart
And I won't believe it
But if it's true
You can see it with your eyes
Oh, even in the dark
And that's where I want to be, yeah!

Figures.

2010-01-02T10:34:00.004+08:00

2010 is here! This was like, a super different New Year's Day from the ones I normally experience. Least of all, I've never puked. =.=

New Year's Eve was spent in Fullhouse, serving set menus. We managed to close the shop b4 12. Typically, my last job of the year was to mop the floor. After that, we celebrated at Fullhouse itself. Ah Dong made a few cocktails which were damn unique! Apparently he used tobasco in the cocktail. @.@ Later, Edmund gave me a bottle of Heineken. Drink drink drink!!! Got blardee red all lah. Like a tanglung. :D

When I was like really at my limit, trust Ah Dong to come at me with a cup of really strong liquor. At least, to me it was. I puked all over that sunglasses shop in front of Fullhouse. Sorrayyyyyyyyyyyyyy!! (Damn dumb la i had a nose bleed at the same time everyone keep thinking I puked blood)

Vincent was super super drunk after that. Dancing with Mr Dong Ting Kiong. And HE was supposed to be fetching me back. In the end, Michelle fetched me back home. I guess I could've drove but in the scenario of road blocks and whatnots it was safer for me not too.

Then yesterday went to work at 3. Boy I'm never gonna hear the end of the teasing bout me puking. Sigh. But what to do, I was never a good drinker anyway. At night I reached home early. So Samantha called me to go over to her place since Donovan was there and just hang out and everything. Damn funny la all the random stuff we did. Talk about camwhoring. Came back at 3.30.

That's 2 nights I've been going out til 3 in the morning. Tired ahhh!! Today got work some more. Tonight we might be going out to play l4d 2! Boy oh boy its gonna be fun. Heard there were alot of changes to the game.

I've made a bunch of New Year's Resolutions. Things to do with uni, myself, and other random stuff.

Welcome 2010!! Its was an awesome start to the year and I'm sure it will DEFINITELY be an awesome year.

Heartwarming Christmas

2009-12-27T10:28:00.003+08:00

First of all, a piece of advice. Don't drink anything ice cold when you have a sore throat. :D

Christmas has just come and gone. And though I was working 90% of the time, I'm glad to say I spent time with some of the people I cared most about in my life.

I was able to have a minor Christmas gathering at my neighbour's house after coming back from work on Christmas Eve with my family.
The next day at work, Ah Ma came to visit me. That was one of the biggest and best surprise I had throughout the Christmas period. Di yi had brought her to Sunway Pyramid for a walk since it had been awhile. I was overwhelmed with emotion. I hadn't seen her in awhile since I had started working. I WILL visit her after I've finished work. Anyway, she didn't stop to eat at Fullhouse coz the food there wasn't suitable for her. Hard to imagine her eating Wok-Sear Chicken Chop or Alfredo Spaghetti!

In the afternoon, I bumped into Sayi, Sab and Sam as well. We made arrangements to have a dinner later in the evening during my break time at 6. So there, two of my favourite cousins as well as my aunt. (They told me I lost weight!!) :D

Funny how things managed to fall to place even though I had work occupying most of my time. Which meant that, of course, I've been spending alot of time with the Fullhouse staff who have been awesome. (+ - a few)

Not forgetting Wei Xiang, Vincent, Michelle and Siew Yung whom have all been working with me. It means alot to me having you guys around. Really appreciate your presence.

All in all, this year's Christmas, was a truly special one for me. And I loved every minute of it.

Mythbuster.

2009-12-20T00:50:00.003+08:00

See, I've been pretty much kinda sick for the past two days or so. Woke up with a sore throat and a really weird voice. Almost gone that voice. Which led to a moment at Jasmine Cafe where Michelle, Vincent and Siew Yung laughed the hell at me. =/

Anyways, I was getting free Honey Lemon (Hot) from the bar at Fullhouse in this period. So far 3 cups drank. Supposedly it was supposed to soothe my throat. But today, I got kinda lazy of asking Johnson to make me a cup. So I decided that to test out a belief that has always been common among us all.

This concept has been nailed into our brains since young I'm sure. That is, if you're having a cough, or sore throat, ie, having problems with your throat, the last thing you would want to do is to drink something cold. Ice cold.

So hell, I poured myself a cup of ice cold lemon tea and downed the whole thing in a couple of seconds. I drank another after that too. Lets see where this will bring us. Probably by tomorrow we'll see the effects of it.
Then we'll see whether the myth will be busted. Or my throat.

Edmund's back from his trip to Langkawi. Basket fella had the nerve to sms us about his Javanese massage while he was at it. But it was a weird three days without him asking whether we were okay or not or asking us to take care or making sarcastic remarks at him and watch his amusing responses. Woots~!

Went to Canai Mamak with Cathy and Vincent after work. Due to Vincent's insistence. Nice chatting with both of them, though they're terrible listeners. Always interrupting one another when the other is talking. =.=

Christmas Day is coming!!! Soon after that would be New Year's Day. Boy a whole year has gone. Time does fly. But before that we have a day off on Tuesday. Specifically requested so that we can hang out together with the rest of us mates. Working tomorrow again. Sunday. Sure damn hectic sial. Better go to bed soon.

Sheesh I sound like Edmund now.

And I'd go wherever you'd take me,
I'm with you to anywhere at all
Your tears could never escape me,
I'd be there to catch them as they fall
The glass shoe fits, and I'd prove it,
Cause my heart will always have enough
So if you need someone to love you,
Baby just sign me up

Mr. EMPLOYEE

2009-12-13T00:44:00.003+08:00

Been working in Fullhouse Lifestyle Store and Cafe lately. Michelle and Khai Shien are working with me. And probably Vincent and Siew Yung in the near future.

Gosh business has been blooming. But it has only been 3 days since the opening of the shop. I skipped yday though. Went to buy a pair of pants and had a totally random outing with Vincent, Michelle and Sean. But today, fuuhhhh. Super-hectic, though not as hectic as yesterday (apparently) or Thursday (which was the opening day). Sat down for only fifteen minutes for my lunch break. Feet are killing me but I'm enjoying every minute of it.

Working has been awesome. It has been an awesome learning experience for me. My manager is a nice but serious person. My assistant manager is someone i suspect gay but yet cool nevertheless. I've only been working with him for four days and I already can quote lines from him like "You know I very sayang you all wan" or "I want you all to have fun". He's a great guy though. Really takes care of his employees. Co-workers, well. I feel there could be some improvement lah. But dont really wanna say much coz I'm not anyone to judge in the first place.

I dropped and broke a glass today, and feel totally guilty about it. But i guess the "professional" way to do it is not to moan or feel sorry for yourself, instead doing the rest of your work to the best of your ability to make up for your mistake. That's what I feel. =/

Ah Dong is a bit annoying. Asking me to mop the floor everything. Basket. But i feel i do benefit from it though. :D
I enjoy work loads. Sigh.

2009-11-05T10:05:00.001+08:00

Euphoric

2009-10-26T00:27:00.002+08:00

The devastation of being unable to play HoN. I can't describe it.
But at this time of need, I've been injected with the best inspiration anyone could ever give me to keep on going.
The 2-0 win over Man U has given me such a huge wave of euphoria, that I'm finding hard to think of excuses to stop myself from studying.
There, I've said it. We'll see what happens in the morning. I'm off for an early sleep.(If you call this early.)

Go KOPS! Go Liverpool!!

That's it.

2009-10-25T00:56:00.001+08:00

I just uninstalled HoN. I'm a bit sad. But its for my own good. Had a last game with Sean, Wei Xiang, Khai Shien and Wei Zhiang. Not bad la that game. Owned like crap. I'll be looking forward to playing it again AFTER the exams. No more slacking. I have to start studying now.